November 22, 2010

Woe is Me!

Dearest Oprah,

I have been a loyal viewer for many, many years, but I have to say that you really disappointed me.  Last week and today, you aired your "Ultimate Favorite Things" episodes, and I would love to know why I wasn't invited!  I mean, really!  You had two this year... two... and you still didn't hook a girl up. 

I tried - I really did - to be happy for the audience members as they learned about the gifts they were about to receive, but the truth is... I'm super jealous!  Where's my iPad?  Where's my diamond watch?  Where's my cruise ticket?     

And to think this was my final chance.  Oh... I am crushed! 

Sincerely,
Giftless Viewer

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