December 29, 2010

Saying Thanks

When we were kids, my mom my always forced us to write thank-you notes after birthdays and Christmas.  Truth be told, it was like pulling teeth around here (as I'm sure it is in many families) to get them done.  Finally, she wouldn't let us have the gift (usually money) until we sent the card - hello, motivation!

I'll be honest, though, and admit that I couldn't tell you the last time I wrote a thank-you note, slapped a stamp on it, and put it in the mail.  I still think it's important to acknowledge a gift (or special meal or visit) in some way, but I can't help but think that these formal thank-yous are very passé. 

In this fast-paced, technology-driven world, I think it's much more reasonable to expect a phone call, e-mail, Facebook message, tweet, text, etc. than a hand-written note in the mail.  And I think there are a lot of people who would appreciate the immediacy of these options over waiting a week (or more) for a note to arrive in their mailboxes.  Also, odds are much better that I have your e-mail address than your street address. 

I'm just being honest here... unless it's for my grandparents, a card is probably not going to happen.  (Unless, of course, it's for a formal event, like my wedding.  A formal event calls for a more formal thank-you, in my opinion.) 

I also have to say that I don't ever expect or keep track of who sends me a thank-you.  This may not be a very popular opinion, but to me, expecting a thank you is like expecting to be praised for being nice or thoughtful - and that just seems silly.  We should be nice and thoughtful of others because it's the right thing to do, not because we want to be acknowledged for it.  


  1. But doesn't an actual handwritten note mean more than something you can whip off fast on the computer? It takes more effort...

  2. Not to me. The way I see it, the meaningful part is in the message, not the medium.

  3. does this mean a wedding is in the future?

  4. LOL! Unless you know something I don't, that was a hypothetical wedding... one that is somewhere in the future! :)

  5. I totally think that technology helps the "thank you" process. We do send actual thank you cards but I think I'm more likely to acknowledge other things like lunches or nice things people do for me or a party via Facebook or text etc.
    As far as expecting thank yous...I guess when it's something like a birthday, I don't care so much but there have been two weddings (one of which I was IN!) that we never received a thank you for and that really bugged me.
    Ah! Thanks for weighing in Erin!

  6. Completely agree with you! As for Samara that is need to send your guests at your wedding a thank you.

  7. I agree. If I have to buy myself a new dress (and accessories), block out an entire evening of my life, find you the perfect gift (or several if I'm a close friend and have also attended your engagement, bridal, and bachelorette parties) and travel to your event, I should get a formal thank-you.