January 19, 2011

The Dilemma

Recently, I began recording The View on my DVR because I really enjoy listening to them discuss Hot Topics.  They always bring up interesting, relevant topics and get the wheels in my brain turning.  It's especially entertaining when things get political and the women get extremely defensive about their opinions.  Things often get pretty heated - as good reality television should!

One of the hot topics discussed recently was cheating spouses because of an upcoming movie, The Dilemma, starring Vince Vaughn, in which his character learns that his best friend's wife is having an affair.  It had the co-hosts asking each other what they would do if they were in such a predicament, and the opinions were contrasting. 

The first question to consider is whether or not you would tell your best friend if you knew, without a doubt, that her spouse was cheating.  Do you confront the husband and demand that he stop?  Do you make him tell his wife?  Do you bypass him and take this news directly to your friend and risk her being upset with you for giving her this news?  What considerations do you make before confronting either person?

The second question to consider is whether or not you would want to know if it were happening to you.  This, I think, is where the biggest contrasts in opinions were apparent.  Some said it would depend on how the length of the marriage.  Maybe it's different to learn that your husband of 20 years is being unfaithful than if you've been married only a year or two.  I felt these people were implying that if the investment was great enough, this information would be too detrimental and that they'd rather be ignorant about this behavior.  What if you throw kids into the mix?  Does that change anything?  

I pose these questions because I don't know, myself, how I would answer them.  I think it's one of those things that's much easier to talk about in a hypothetical sense, but if I were really faced with it, I might have a different answer.  What do you think?


  1. This is a really good thought to ponder.

    I guess I think about if it were me, I'd want to know regardless of how long I've been married, how many kids etc. You know? So I guess I'd probably answer it by putting myself in the others shoes like that?
    But wow, can be so tough!

  2. It's tough, right? I feel like my original thought is that I would tell my friend, but I think it would be much harder in reality because of how she may respond. Ugh! There's no good answer here!

  3. You tell. I would never forgive a friend that didn't tell me. I have a right to know if my husband cheats as well as the right to handle it my own way. Nobody else should decide that for me.

    You dont shoot the messenger. just make sure it's a fact.