March 31, 2011

Daily Affirmations

In one of my communications classes during college, I learned that women, in particular, have a really hard time setting boundaries.  My professor said this is because we are taught from a very young age to be people-pleasers.  We apologize for things thare not our fault (Do you ever say, 'Excuse me!" when someone bups into you?  Or even worse, say it to inanimate objects when you bump into them?  I do!) and feel guilty when we want to say no to others' requests. 
 
I wanted to share this list of "permissions" from family systems therapist Virginia Satir, which I read on one of my favorite blogs, Rage Against the Minivan.  Several of these (the ones in bold) resonated with me, and I don't think I'm alone. 
  1. I do not have to feel guilty just because someone else does not like what I do, say, think, or feel.
  2. It is OK for me to feel angry and to express it in responsible ways.
  3. I do not have to assume full responsibility for making decisions, particularly where others share responsibility for making the decision.
  4. I have the right to say, "I don't know."
  5. I have the right to say "No," without feeling guilty.
  6. I have the right to say "I don't understand," without feeling stupid.
  7. I do not have to apologize or give reasons when I say "No."
  8. I have the right to ask others to do things for me.
  9. I have the right to refuse requests which others make of me.
  10. I have the right to tell others when I think they are manipulating, conning or treating me unfairly.
  11. I have the right to refuse additional responsibilities without feeling guilty.
  12. I have the right to tell others when their behavior annoys me.
  13. I do not have to compromise my personal integrity.
  14. I have the right to make mistakes and to be responsible for them; I have the right to be wrong.
  15. I do not have to be liked, admired, or respected by everyone for everything I do.
Also, we should all take a cue from this little girl.  I never get tired of watching this!

2 comments:

  1. Omg that little girl!! I have never seen that before i love it. We all really should take a cue from her lol!

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  2. If you had written this last night I would have thought it was for me specifically...lol! I think I need to read these a few times. Love, love that video. I think I'll re-post it :) Beth

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