I wanted to share this list of "permissions" from family systems therapist Virginia Satir, which I read on one of my favorite blogs, Rage Against the Minivan. Several of these (the ones in bold) resonated with me, and I don't think I'm alone.
- I do not have to feel guilty just because someone else does not like what I do, say, think, or feel.
- It is OK for me to feel angry and to express it in responsible ways.
- I do not have to assume full responsibility for making decisions, particularly where others share responsibility for making the decision.
- I have the right to say, "I don't know."
- I have the right to say "No," without feeling guilty.
- I have the right to say "I don't understand," without feeling stupid.
- I do not have to apologize or give reasons when I say "No."
- I have the right to ask others to do things for me.
- I have the right to refuse requests which others make of me.
- I have the right to tell others when I think they are manipulating, conning or treating me unfairly.
- I have the right to refuse additional responsibilities without feeling guilty.
- I have the right to tell others when their behavior annoys me.
- I do not have to compromise my personal integrity.
- I have the right to make mistakes and to be responsible for them; I have the right to be wrong.
- I do not have to be liked, admired, or respected by everyone for everything I do.
Omg that little girl!! I have never seen that before i love it. We all really should take a cue from her lol!
ReplyDeleteIf you had written this last night I would have thought it was for me specifically...lol! I think I need to read these a few times. Love, love that video. I think I'll re-post it :) Beth
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