July 22, 2011

Mixed Emotions

In a matter of 18 hours from now, my best friend since age 14 will be walking down the aisle. This is the girl who knows me better than anyone (and likes me anyway!) because she's been there and supported me through it all. And tomorrow I will watch her become someone's wife!

On one hand, I am ecstatic for her. She's an amazing woman and deserves all the best the world, and I'm super excited to see her so happy. I absolutely love her fiance! He's got all the qualities you'd want in the man who's marrying your best friend - especially supportive. He proved that when he stood by her side through her dad's illness and death last year. I honestly couldn't pick a better man for her.  It makes me so happy to know that they'll be together for the rest of their lives.

But then there's this other (selfish) part of me that can't help but feel anxious. For the first time in our lives, one of us is moving on to a new phase of life without the other. I can't help but worry that it will only be a matter of time before she has babies and surrounds herself with other families rather than her single friend. Not because she'll stop caring about me but because it's easier to be with people who share your lifestyle. And this totally freaks me out because I can't imagine my life without her.

I heard our song yesterday and my eyes immediately filled with tears.

"I'm not dying," she reminds me, "I'm just getting married!"

And I know she's right. The logical side of my brain tells me to stop worrying about what hasn't happened yet.  But the emotional side of me keeps fighting back tears for fear of the unknown.

I hope the logical side of me can stay in control at this wedding tomorrow. But I think I'll wear waterproof mascara just in case.


  1. Awwww!!! Such real emotions are you experiencing!!! Congrats to your bestie! She will be a beautiful bride and you will be there next to her sharing in ways that no one else can! Enjoy every minute!!

    I can completely understand where you are coming from. Just stay close to one another and eventually you will both share NEW experiences together! This is just the beginning!!

  2. Thanks for the encouragement, Karrie! She was the most beautiful bride I've ever seen, and the reception was a blast! Pictures to come!