Do You Really Want to Know?

Today, I had to reprimand a student twice for throwing Starbursts across my classroom. After he told me I had them all the first time, I asked him to turn his pockets inside out to show me they were truly empty. The student was very reluctant to do so, which I assumed, was evidence of even more candy. Instead, he emptied his back pocket to reveal a condom... probably well beyond expiration... and a magnum, no less.

I have no words!