September 13, 2014

I Will Not Be Your Accomplice

Yesterday, I told my students that I only have two weeks left with them before their regular teacher returns. This is not a reflection of her in any way because most of them don't even know her, but they were UPSET! They whined, pouted, threatened, pleaded... you name it. And then they came up with the MOST RIDICULOUS solutions:
  1. We could get her fired so you have to stay!
  2. Someone should run her over with their car!
  3. Just tell her we don't want her!
  4. Tell her she's a bad mom if she leaves her new baby!
I kid you not, each of these suggestions came from the mouths of my students. Of course, I told them I could not condone any acts of violence or shame in the interest of protecting my job, but I did appreciate the sentiment. 

Of course, they were desperate to know where I'd be going, so I explained that I will be looking for another teaching job and subbing in the meantime. This is when I heard the most hilarious suggestion of all:

Student: We've decided we're going to LICK the floor!
Me: What? Why would you do that?
Student: So we can load ourselves up with germs and spread them to all our teachers!
Me: Why would you do that?
Student: So they get really sick, and you can sub for them!

By 8th period, this message had spread through most of my students, and one of the paras who works in my class told me she now understood why a student was randomly petting her in the hallway between class. 

My 9th period honors class (to be honest, my favorite group) was the most upset of the day. They pleaded with me to become a para again so I can work in their classroom even after their teacher returns. I explained that the district wouldn't just pay me to come hang out every day and that there has to be a need for that position. I also informed them that since they are an honors class, it is not supported, so they wouldn't keep me in that room anyway. At this, one of my students announced,

Quick! Someone start acting like a fool so the district sees they have to hire her!

Oi vey!

I have to admit, that it felt really good to know how disappointed they are that I'm leaving. I told them I was equally as sad to be leaving and that they made me feel really loved. 


  1. I subbed for my seventh grade last year for a while, and from the first day, the kids came up with plans like that to get me to stay. It was such a weird feeling. It's nice to know that the kids like you, but it's hard to know that they don't want their classroom teacher back with them.

  2. So I've been reading your blogs on the fly on my phone and not commenting - but I"m so sorry you're going to have to leave your great kiddos even earlier than expected! They clearly adore you! :-)

  3. Aww, those sweet little crazy kiddos sure do love you!

  4. This just makes my heart flutter. I love all of these kids and their ideas! Floor lickers...perfect!
    Rockin' and Lovin' Learnin'