April 22, 2015

New Plan

This week, I started something new. Well... sorta.

My lifelong friends and family can attest to the fact that I have always been a curvy girl. I honestly can't even picture myself in any other body.

But at one point, a few years back, I was borderline obsessed with Zumba. I got to take classes from fabulous instructors and made lots of friends, and it became my thing. I took as many classes as possible, up to 14 in one week over the summer. I could literally run circles around many of my thinner friends, even though my body didn't show it.

And then I got really frustrated that my body was not responding appropriately. I was watching my Zumba peers drop sizes left and right, and it was really distressing that the same thing wasn't happening for me. 

Around this same time, life sorta happened, and I kept being faced with all sorts of excuses not to go back to Zumba. And if I know anything in life, it's that once a good habit is paused, it's WAY too easy for me to stop it. 

Sadly, that's what happened. 

I got to a point where I hadn't been to class in so long that I just could't bring myself to go back without an elaborate excuse. Also... some of my friendships in that group had fizzled out, which made it even more awkward to return.

Flash forward about 9 months (now living in Louisiana) when I learned that I had PCOS. My doctor basically laughed when I told him how hard I had been working out for the past couple years with little results, and he told me that no amount of exercise was going to help me until my condition was controlled. 

Since then, I've been good about taking my medication but not so good about staying on a healthy eating plan or getting back into exercising. If I'm REALLY honest, it's because I've been scared. The fear of failure is real, especially for someone like me who has always been an over-achiever. 

But after much procrastination, I've decided that I owe it to myself to try. Joel and I bought a new grill over the weekend and a Veggetti Pro (spiralizer to make "noodles" out of vegetables) yesterday to help me stay on a low, low-low carb, no-sugar diet. We're also committing to continue our daily walks at the park after dinner so I can slowly get back into exercising. 

I'm feeling more motivated to do this than ever before, and I know that a HUGE part of it is knowing that Joel is supporting me. In the past, he's kinda always told me that he'd support me by helping me do whatever I needed to do but that he wasn't going to change his diet since he didn't need it. Of course, it's really hard to stay on a healthy eating plan when your partner bring junk food into the house all the time. That stuff is DONE for now, until I get strong enough to say no on my own.

I've offered to find ways to compromise, making zoodles for myself and regular noodles for him, but so far, he's refused to eat anything different. I saw a recipe last night for a cauliflower crusted pizza and showed it to him, saying that I would make it for myself while he could eat real pizza. 

"I'll try it your way with you!" he told me instead.

Music to my ears!

I should also add that yesterday, over breakfast, we had a really sweet conversation. He told me he loves me exactly as I am and thinks I'm beautiful now, but that if this is something I want to do for myself, he will support me in every way possible. 


April 2, 2015

Weight Loss for Love?

A friend of mine, who happens to be a BEAUTIFUL plus-size Hollywood actress posted yesterday that she was asked if she had any interest in a casting for a new show called Weight Loss for Love.

Being that she refuses to participate in projects that depict overweight people as lazy, unhappy, unhealthy, and/or ugly (which, sadly, is the majority, she says), she DECLINED.

Because she doesn't need it. She's single because she CHOOSES to be single. Trust me when I tell you this woman is GORGEOUS and has men LINED UP to take her out and show her all sorts of affection. 

How do shows like this even get a green light? 

I hate that it perpetuates the idea that overweight people are UNDESERVING of love. This show tells women that they must alter their bodies to be more in line with these photoshopped beauty standards we're all inundated with daily if they want to be worthy of affection. 

The sad reality is that too many people (especially women) feel this way already. And I feel the producers are just exploiting these women. And they're making a mockery of love, if you ask me. 

And why? Are they that shallow? Are they not aware that a woman's worth is not determined by a number on a scale or BMI chart?

Because I don't know about you, but I see beautiful, curvy women around me every day (myself included) who DO have loving partners. Yet this show suggests that our men (or women as the case may be) are somehow lowering their standards by being with us. That's pretty offensive, not only to me, but to my boyfriend as well.

Because he happens to think I'm sexy exactly the way that I am. Not only does he tell me so, but he shows me every day.

And you know what? I wouldn't want to be with any guy who refused to love me unless I fit some sort of ideal body image. I want a man who will stick with me through thick and thin, physically and metaphorically.  

The size on my clothing labels DOES NOT DEFINE ME or my relationship!

So, if this stupid show does air, you better believe I will NOT be watching!

Shows like this, for one!

April 1, 2015

Currently Poetry Month!

My answers are pretty self-explanatory this month, but I will leave you with a photo fail from tonight. Joel and I were on our nightly walk and spotted the most beautiful sunset. I'm pretty new to Instagram, so of course, I HAD to take a photo. Except you can't see the sunset at all. #fail #IAmNotAPhotographer

Look at that view! LMBO
Also, since April is National Poetry Month, I am selling my Poetry Anthology Unit at a NEW, REDUCED PRICE! I reached out to my former students for samples of each poetry type to include in this unit, and they were all happy to share along with their wonderful memories of working on such a meaningful assignment. I've seen such a beautiful vulnerability in my students' poetry over the years and it gives me so much joy to watch them wrestle with those emotions and beam with pride over the completed product!

Happy April, friends!