October 22, 2015

The Day I Broke

Hello friends! Remember me? I know I've been M.I.A. this year, but my excuse is valid. That new job I started? Yeah... I've been busy with that.

As it turns out, living 61 miles away from your job makes for some LONG days. 5:00 AM comes very early, and being gone from home for 13-15 hours each day means I've had to let some things go...


Thankfully, I have a super supportive boyfriend who has picked up my slack in all things around the house. Although he doesn't always prepare the healthiest meals, I do appreciate the fact that he always has something ready when I walk in the door. He gets major bonus points for doing the dishes most of the time too.

My house isn't in the best shape. The major disaster areas get cleaned on the weekends, but the detail cleaning has been mostly left undone. And we won't even talk about how much laundry we have to do on the weekends just to have something to wear for the following week.

I'm still firmly in the "I love my job!" phase, even though we're deep into DEVOLSON right now. My kids have completely taken over my heart, and although I'm exhausted, they're worth it... most of the time.

Today, though, I broke.
I reached my limit.
I reminded myself that I'm not superwoman and cannot do it all.

I feel like I've been running on pure adrenaline since August 3rd. In that time, I've taken on quite a few new things:

  • Implementing a new ELA curriculum
  • Developing a curriculum for my reading intervention classes
  • Being appointed PLC lead
  • Becoming cheerleading coach 
  • Volunteering to start a spirit squad
  • Starting two fundraisers
  • Attending a two-day conference last week/weekend
I know that it was bound to happen, but today, the stress (because as my mother likes to remind me, even good stress is stress) got to me. On this, the day before quarter one grades are due, I sat in my classroom with about 20 students who finally decided to retake some test they failed this quarter. You know... the ones I've been encouraging since August. 

You know that saying, "Poor planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine!"? Yeah... I guarantee that wasn't said by a teacher.

Trying to manage 5 different tests while I sneak in my own lunch had me frazzled by the time 6th period began. And it was then that I discovered yet ANOTHER new student due to this week's schedule changes. This makes 7 new students in this one class. SEVEN. This was already my most challenging behavioral class, and today's change was the straw that broke the camel's back. 

My the time the period ended, my frustration had peaked and tears were building behind my eyes. I found my work BFF during the passing period and told her in a cracking voice that I was about to cry. Being the amazing friend she is, she volunteered to leave her co-taught class to give me 5 minutes to cry it out and regroup. Because of her, I was able to release some of that frustration and pull myself together for a great 7th period. 

Tomorrow will be better!